Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Tips to Add Zing Into the Relationship

Relationships could be best compared to a beautiful garden that requires loving care and attention for their growth. As the growth of weeds threaten to destroy the beauty of the garden, our negative actions and thoughts can bring about a storm in our safe heaven. Every relationship hits a rough patch and if you are in a long term relationship and want to mend the fences there are certain things which should be kept in mind:

Effective communication helps in bridging the gap. Lack of communication or miscommunication is one of the leading causes of failure of any relationship. A heart to heart communication between the partners helps in strengthening the bond between the couple and the lack of communication can turn any sweet relationship sour in no time.

It is said that partners have to be best friends first. Therefore it is important to remember that like you share all your ups and lows of your life with your best friend you should also share your deepest thoughts and darkest secrets with your partner if you want your relationship to last. So open up your heart to your partner and see your relationship flourish.

Modern working couples find it extremely difficult to find time for them and this leads to lack of communication. This causes a rift in their relationship and therefore it is essential to plan out a date night when two of you can be alone and can chat to your heart’s content without the distraction of work or children running around you. If you want to iron out differences from your life such date nights where you get a chance to interact with each other without any interruptions will be the best option.

When communicating with each other to save the relationship it is essential to discuss the things maturely and not enter into any kind of altercation. Communicating with a cool head will help you in finding the root cause of the problem and also decide on the right course of action that can help in bridging the gap.

If you are unable to come to a logical conclusion on your own and your conversation session turn into a blame game routine, you as a couple should seek the help of a counselor. An unbiased opinion of an expert could help you see the problem in your relationship in a clear light which will pave the way for taking corrective measures to save your relationship.

If despite your best efforts you are unable to reach an agreement then you need to understand that both of you are just not meant to be together. In such a scenario it is better to bring your relationship to an end without hurting each other anymore. So if you want to save your relationship then communication is the key to success.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Intimacy, Love & Desire

What is intimacy? I think it's a special feeling of closeness where we can be ourselves with each other. When we can be completely free to say whatever we want -- no matter how personal or sensitive -- then there is intimacy.

What is chemistry? I think chemistry occurs when people feel a certain cosmic, spiritual, soulful, or sexual synchronicity. This is when we feel we understand someone; we can relate to them without them having to explain themselves. It is when we know what someone is going to say, before they say it, or know what someone is going to do, before they do it.

What is love? I believe love to be the foundation of eternal trust and unconditional acceptance. When we fear not the other person's actions, truly acknowledge all their choices, and totally be with them, then there is love.

What is desire? Desire is a "calling" that we feel, a powerful and compelling attraction, or the feeling of a destiny yet to be fulfilled. Desire is the ignition of passion.

What is connection? That's our spirit at work -- causing a spark, an electric current, or a vibration. It's that link which fuels our energy and drives us to do the things we wouldn't otherwise do.

What is life? It is a journey to discover, explore, and experience miracles like these.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Love & Money

One of the topics that frequently comes up in couples' therapy is conflicts concerning money.

This is usually even more of an issue right before the holidays, when couples may be deciding whether to create large credit card balances from holiday shopping sprees.

Early in a relationship, couples will often unconsciously choose roles to play around money: one person is the spontaneous child & the other is a critical parent.

In this situation, there is typically no firm budget set, and the "child" part of the couple either spends much more than the "parent" wants, or the "child" part whines & begs constantly that they need more money to buy something.

The "parent" part of the couple wants to please his or her partner, and reluctantly gives permission for the purchase, even though they may resent it.

This pattern is dangerous to the long-term health of the relationship because it is a guaranteed set-up for more anger, resentment, and distance in the future. Both people quickly tire of their roles.

The "child" person hates to have to ask, and the "parent" person hates to say no. Often each is unconsciously acting out emotional issues from their families of origins & re-creating a dysfunction outcome in the relationship.

If you notice that you & your partner are displaying this pattern in dealing with money, try the following suggestions which have been shown to be very helpful for couples:

Make a budget together, including allowances for gifts, going out & other fun activities. You may need to track all expenses for a month or two to do this accurately;

Create a system whereby it is the budget which gives 'permission' for purchases, automatically & mechanically, without impulsivity or emotion playing a role;

Review the budget monthly to see how it is working for both of you. By consciously choosing to deal with money in an adult, rational manner, you both avoid the parent/child roles.

This also frees up space emotionally to look at why you unconsciously adopted those roles early in your relationship, and what gratification or payoff those roles were giving you.

People often think of financial planning, but as a couple you are also wise to think of emotional planning as well.

Anything which consistently generates resentment, anger, and/or distance in your relationship will inevitably lead to major problems in the future. If you have emotional issues to resolve, learn how to do it directly instead of playing them out through money.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Essential Things Every Woman Must Know About Men, Love, Sex and Relationships

Most women learn about men, love, sex and relationships the hard way. They walk down the highly traveled, worn out path of emotional scars, broken hearts, abuse, confusion, anger and sleepless nights. When it comes to learning the hard way, you can get to know a great deal about men, love, sex and relationships, but most women who have traveled that path will tell you, “The price is too high and the consequences and lingering effects are way to painful!” Smart women understand this irrefutable truth.

They know there is an easier less complicated way to obtain the vital information they need to know about the opposite sex. Ladies, these 40 nuggets of wisdom and sage advice will help set you on the right path to finding and experiencing true love. Share these life-saving truths with every woman you know. They will forever thank you!

1. There are two types of males: Dishonorable males and honorable men. Don’t date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

2. Honorable men are protectors. They will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and stand as champions for your spiritual, mental and physical well-being; choose an honorable man and choose life!

3. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adieu and don’t look back!

4. This is a true saying: “The soul of a woman is fragile.” Please note: dishonorable males refuse to respect this crucial truth. They will toy with a woman’s emotions without any semblance of concern or compassion. Therefore YOU must guard your heart from these cold-hearted males with all diligence.

5. Good men need to be treated like good men, dishonorable males, need to be let go and left alone!

6. OK ladies; you’ve met this great guy, but he’s got a child or children for which he does not take care of, provide for or see to. Follow these instructions to the letter: urgently send him back to the mother(s) of his child(ren) and don’t look back. Don’t make the same mistake the mother(s) of his child(ren) did!

7. Dishonorable males treat sex as a sport, females as trophies and children they sire as wastepaper. Never allow yourself to become their next score, mantle piece or sperm repository.

8. Women who hold grudges, seek vengeance, cling to bitterness and are unwilling to forgive, unwittingly break their own hearts!

9. Choose the wrong mate and you might as well have laid next to a boa constrictor or grabbed the ears of a raging mad pit bull. A smart woman learns how to choose her mate wisely!

10. Heed the sage advice of some caring brothers and honorable men. If he doesn’t fit - don’t force him, just relax and let him go. Destiny is on your side.

11. Momma’s boys belong with only one type of woman; their moms! Ladies, these mothers and their sons will never cut their grotesque umbilical cord. Therefore, for your sake, leave them alone and just let them trot home to their mommies.

12. Self-love: if you don’t have it, pull yourself off the market. Make no mistake about it, if you don’t love yourself, NO MAN can ever love you… no matter how great a man he is.

13. Don’t judge ALL men by one man’s actions; unless you want ALL men to judge you based on the acts of amoral women.

14. Most women learn how to choose a mate the hard way; they go through a gut wrenching string of emotionally detached males, jerks, pimps, thugs and players. Don’t become one of those heart broken and bitter women! Learn how to properly choose a mate before it’s too late! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

15. You wondering, “If I move in with him, is he going to marry me?” Answer: “Not likely!” Don’t believe it, take these two critical tests: (a). Ask any honorable man! And, (b). Examine the ever-growing list of disillusioned women who are begrudgingly waiting for their non-committal live-in lovers to pop the big question.

16. Do you keep attracting men who are dogs? Check the scent you’re putting out. Men who are dogs are attracted by scent!

17. You are not a man! Therefore, you will never be: a role model for men, a father figure, a man’s mentor or a man’s coach. If a man has lacked proper male leadership in his life, kindly send him on his way. Know for a certainty; he is not prepared for the responsibilities that come with love, sex, relationship and marriage.

18. If you don’t know what a misogynistic man is, take this time to check your dictionary. For your sake, sanity and safety, avoid these treacherous males at all costs.

19. Don’t ever delude yourself! Your beauty, fine body, sexual prowess, cooking skills, femininity and vibrant personality will never be enough to change a man, NEVER!

20. If your potential mate does such things as: promises to call you but doesn’t, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions; take notes ladies... those are clear cut warning signs that he DOES NOT value you, he DOES NOT love you and he DOES NOT care about you!

21. Angry, bitter, hostile, combative, unforgiving single women, become: angry, bitter, hostile and combative, unforgiving wives.

22. A fundamental understanding and respect of the male ego is a must for all women who want a vibrant and healthy love; DO NOT obtain this crucial information from dishonorable males or from angry bitter women.

23. If you choose to be with dishonorable males, pimps, players, thugs, ballers and shot callers, you have absolutely no right to complain when they torch your emotions, abuse you, leave you pregnant and alone, jeopardize your safety and otherwise harm or hurt you. Remember, you have freedom of choice and you chose to be with them!

24. When a man is trying to find himself, kindly bid him adieu… PERMANENTLY! He can find you, but can’t find himself? He shouldn’t be looking for love… he should be searching for the map to Mastering Manhood!

25. OK; he wants or is demanding sex but you are not his wife. Write this down: There is no need to wonder, debate or contemplate: he DOES NOT honor or respect you!

26. Spoiled women are like spoiled milk, spoiled meat, spoiled fruit spoiled bread and spoiled brats. Get the picture? Don’t become a spoiled woman!

27. Expecting a dishonorable male to do the honorable thing is like expecting piranhas not to devour you if you make the mistake of diving into their water.

28. You’ve asked these questions, “Why doesn’t he call me more often? Why doesn’t he pursue me more diligently and why doesn’t he show me that he loves me?” Answer; he’s not into you! If you don’t let him go and move on with your life, you will allow him to hinder or block your true love from finding you!

29. All men ARE NOT dogs! Don’t believe, repeat or perpetuate that rampant lie! You will hamper your ability to see and discern the good men who cross your path!

30. Some males like to hit women. It gives them a sense of power and control. If you give yourself to one of these abusive males, most assuredly you will become a punching bag and a floor mat. It is critical that you learn how to detect and avoid these cretins!

31. Promiscuous immoral women are not worthy of an honorable man. They never have been and they never will be.

32. Never allow emotionally embittered women to influence you concerning the male gender. If you do, their hatred and unforgiveness will become yours. Soon you will find yourself suspicious, indignant and angry at all men.

33. You were not designed, built or destined for abuse, whether: emotionally, physically or financially. If he is an abuser, there is no need to deliberate
… he IS NOT the one; leave him now!

34. Some women live their lives vicariously through the women on “Girlfriends, Sex In The City and Desperate Housewives.” Don’t become one of these women. If you do, you will make a literal mess of your life, emotions, physical body and well-being.

35. When a man truly loves you, he will honor and respect you. If he doesn't… don’t deceive yourself and don’t allow him to defraud you; he DOES NOT love OR care about you!

36. Everyone has skeletons in their closet? Wrong! Not everyone has skeletons in their closet. Don’t start putting any in yours!

37. There is a vast difference between sex and love. Most men know the difference and you had better learn it fast! If you fail or refuse to do so, you are surely headed for relationship or marital crash and burn.

38. Don’t deceive yourself, once you have sex with a man who is not your husband… he may never admit it, but he has lost a degree of respect for you. Don’t believe it? Ask any honorable man or virtuous woman.

39. The dismal cycle of breaking up and making up only works out in the romance novels, television shows and movies. If you are riding that emotional roller coaster get off right now! Your heart, mind and soul will forever thank you.

Nothing is more beautiful, captivating, attractive and sensual than a woman with a gentle and peaceable spirit!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Use Your Feminine Charm

How do women win men over and make them commit to a relationship? What do some women know that naturally helps them get any guy they want? What can you do to copy the success of these women? These ladies have a good understanding of using their feminine charm. Follow along and you can learn their techniques of attracting men and making them commit.

It goes left unsaid that physical beauty is the first thing that gets a man's attention. A woman that is overly attractive will probably turn the heads of many, many males on a regular basis. But, does this mean that these are the only women who will get the men to approach them, take them out, and then eventually fall in love with them? You can relax; the answer is a definite no.

Men will notice outstanding beauty, just as all women will do double takes on a great looking guy. However, both sexes see attractiveness that catches their attention from those who are not the most gorgeous people walking the earth. Attractiveness comes from the way these people carry themselves and the way they make the most of what they've got.

Enhance your own beauty by doing exactly that - make the most of what you've got by finding your best assets and playing them up to look their most attractive. Use makeup, your outfits, and even your hairstyle to enhance your look.

Do you know what the best advantage you gain from doing this is? You make yourself feel better and more confident simply because you know you look good. This is where your feminine charm and mystique come in; you will get a man's attention because of the confident aura you exude. You have a greater chance of enticing a man and eventually making him commit if you promote a self-assured attitude.

It is always in your favor to take the time to develop both your inner and outer beauty. You will build up your personal satisfaction and also contribute to your attractiveness by paying attention to this. Keep your confidence high, but also keep a little mystery about you when dating and starting a relationship. You can keep a man interested by revealing your true self only a little at a time. He will be anxious to learn everything about you but you can keep him dangling by holding back. You can make a man fall in love and make him commit by playing up your feminine charms to keep the allure going.