Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Brain Inform You When You are in Love

Romantic love lights up the same brain regions of lovers, whether they’re heterosexual or homosexual or male or female, a new study indicates.

Pictures from functional magnetic resonance imaging scans (fMRIs) show similar activity in cortical and sub-cortical brain regions when lovers, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, see images of their romantic partners, according to researchers at University College London.

These regions are known to be rich in dopaminergic activity.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Love Drug Produced During Childbirth

Some have called oxytocin, the "cuddling hormone" produced during childbirth, nursing and sex that is believed to promote long-term attachment, a "love drug."

A few have even wondered if someday drug companies might come up with an oxytocin treatment that could control the heretofore-mysterious process of falling and staying in love.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Sex in Relationships

Relationships come in many forms, including those based solely upon sex. While not the healthiest of relationships, sex only relationships do exist and are more common in recent times than ever before, whether we wish to acknowledge them or not.

Sex is best when reserved for marriage, shared between two people who are committed to each other to the point of wanting to spend the rest of their lives together, there's no doubt about it.

Within a marriage, sex is fulfilling and meaningful because of the trust, respect, and care that each partner has for the other. In a sex only relationship, these emotions are rarely, if ever there.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Male & Female Sexual Response

Female Sexual Response Cycle
These are the typical stages that female animals will experience during the act of sexual intercourse:

1. Desire: The physical attraction to copulate with a partner, often fueled by pheromones--chemicals that attract the attention of members of the opposite sex.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Unanswered Questions of Attraction

The moment you meet someone of your liking, it is not unusual to feel an overwhelming draw toward that person. The spark, or shock wave, that streams through your body is caused by a little thing called attraction.

The question of why certain people trigger such reactions remains a mystery, but researchers continue to study unanswered questions of attraction in hopes of deepening the understanding of the mysterious topic of romantic love.

The first thing to emphasize is the brain chemistry behind attraction. As it turns out, neurotransmitters play a crucial role when falling in "like."

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

What Feelings Love Gives You

Remember the old Bee Gees song, 'To Love Somebody?' One part of the refrain is 'What good does it do, if I ain't got you?' That line may not be grammatically correct, but it encapsulates the essence of what it means to love somebody. You want to share everything with them, and if you're not together, life seems pretty pointless and pretty hopeless.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Main Reasons To Love Someone

Reason #1
You are a fantastic human being. Need I elaborate? Nevertheless, by fantastic I mean the integrity of your character, the values and ethics (being truthful, honest and genuine) you hold close to your heart and the way you respect others and their way of thinking. I am a fan of your personality.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Healthy Lifestyle More Important Than Beautiful Body

The credo concerning body image in society is one of elitism: If you're stout, you're out. If you're thin, you're in. This obsession over obesity is creating people who are over concerned with their physical appearance.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Why Single Women Like Married Men

What drives a confident, smart and good looking single woman to seek married men in order to have a relationship?

Many women, who are extremely tied up at work, feel that being with a married man gives her the chance to have a casual affair where too much is never expected out of her.

Some single men admit that they wear a wedding ring just to attract women. This gives them an excuse to not get emotionally involved and they can limit the time they spend with a woman on pretext that they need to return home to their family. Single women dating married men are becoming increasingly common in our society now.

The obvious question for here is "Why ca not such a beautiful and accomplished woman just date a single guy?" The answers to this question can be varied. But the most common answer invariably is that they do not want excess baggage at this point in their life.

For ambitious single women, dating married men means that they can choose when they meet their lovers, they never have to entertain them after hours if they do not want to and they never get forced in to a live-in relationship.

For women who love their privacy and independence, this is an easy option. They also lose no time in bringing to notice that they are not the ones committing adultery. However, they are an active party to committing adultery and whether they like it or not, they are helping in breaking a home.

More often than not, these are confident women, they provide for themselves and they do not feel the need for a husband or kids in order to get emotional satisfaction or feel that their life is complete. However, no human being likes to be alone and even they need company, a sense of belonging, which must be momentary.

This is the truth behind single women dating married men, they need company but on their terms, they need love but on their terms.

The next obvious question is 'How do they feel about breaking a marriage'. Most women claim, that if the marriage was happy, the man would never want to have an affair with another woman.

Most single women dating married men claim that they never tempted the man in to having an affair, but the marriage must already be broken in spirit if the man is considering cheating on his wife. This rids them of any guilt, as they do not feel they broke a marriage but just took advantage of a breaking one.

They feel they played no part in threatening the marriage and refuse to take any responsibility for it. However, the truth is, they just wish to not be tied to any reasons or responsibilities, they never want to be a part of a relationship that is meaningful so they wish to be connected to a man who feels lonely as well because of a unhappy or failed marriage and is desperately trying to hold the pieces together.

Such a man, will never lean on them for support but just use the affair as a way to cleanse the mind of unwanted tensions, even if momentarily.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Great Romantic Getaways

Looking to rekindle your romance? Here are some ideas for romantic getaways that will re-light your fires:

Charter a Boat

Why not charter a boat for your romantic getaway? You can charter a small boat for two people or a fancy yacht with a full crew to take you on a completely private cruise. Have a private dinner for two on the deck. Whether out in the ocean or on a lake, a charter cruise is a romantic way to spend a getaway.

Spa Trip

Many couples will find a spa trip to be a great option. A trip to a spa can give a hard working couple the rest and rejuvenation they need to rekindle their romance. Choose a spa with fancy hotel like rooms, completely private cabins or bungalows separate from other guests. Spas can also offer many beauty and relaxation treatments to further enhance your romantic time.

Las Vegas

The city that never sleeps is a good choice for a weekend romantic getaway, especially since there are always deals available due to the abundance of hotels and hotel rooms always available. Whether you like world class food, gargantuan buffets, relaxing by the pool, big name shows, gambling at the tables or at the slots or simply staying in a luxurious room overlooking the strip, Las Vegas offers options that many other cities cannot match and is the perfect city for a quick trip.

Cruise

There are many options in the cruise area for couples. Whether it's a weekend cruise to Mexico or a week long cruise to Alaska or the Caribbean, there's a cruise option to match every desire. Cruises are romantic in that you are truly getting away from it all and have no required activities. Whether you want to stroll the decks, enjoy fancy meals, dancing, bars, shopping and nightlife, or even if you prefer to stay in the cabin the entire time, you can do what you please.

B&B

A bed and breakfast is one of the most romantic choices for any couple, and it's also a great quick getaway. Most cities and towns have a bed and breakfast in them.

Skiing

What's more intimate and romantic than spending the day on the slopes, having a quiet dinner and then getting cozy by the fireplace for the night? A ski vacation is perfect since it's almost required that you get cozy with your loved one to stay warm.

Be a Kid Again

Why not have some fun at an amusement park? Consider a local amusement park for a fun day or night together. Ride the Ferris wheel and enjoy the sunset from the top. Having fun and enjoying time together is a surefire way to spark your romance.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Marriages Fail Over Sex, True or False

Relationship Expert showed how to bring back your sex life to your marriage. The marriage partnership is not as strong as it was 50 years ago where the divorce rate was very low but now it seems the first sign of trouble the marriage ends in divorce because one or both of the people in the marriage is not prepared to work at it and find out what the problem is. One of the problems that marriages fail is over sex.

A lot of marriages fail because the passion has gone out of the marriage and the lack of sex within the marriage which could lead to one of the people within the marriage being tempted to have a one night stand or a long term affair to bring back their passionate sex life.

Some people feel when they wake up in bed that they have no connection with their partner, they feel the lust in their marriage is gone and sometimes look at their partner as if they are just a friend of worse a stranger, this is the time to act.

A night of passion can bring back that flooding romance and make you realise the reasons why you found your partner attractive in the first place and why you wanted to spend your life with your wife or husband and that is why it is so important that you bring back the passion in your marriage before it is to late.

There are a number of ways to rediscover your sex life with your partner, if you are the only one who feels there is a problem then you will have to work on this on your own but if you both feel there is a serious problem regarding your sex life and you both feel it is dull and causing problems in your marriage then be open about it and work on it together.

1. Slowly introduce new things into your sex life; this can be anything from new sex positions that you have both learnt through various mediums including the Internet to sex toys that you feel your wife or husband will enjoy.

2. Try dressing up for your husband, choose some sexy lingerie and if your husband is one of those dull blokes who wears underpants to bed then buy him some nice underwear that will turn you on.

3. Instead of having sex in your bedroom try a different part of the house, maybe the kitchen or the lounge, bring new excitement into your sexual relationship and make love making exciting again.

4. Go away for the weekend to a nice hotel, spend quality time together and have a nice romantic weekend where the weekend is just about the both of you without children, family and friends being in the way.

5. Try not to rush sex, enjoy touching and feeling each other and gently kissing each other showing one another how you really feel about them.

6. Hug each other. It sounds simple but it is amazing how many couples can go weeks or even months without hugging each other.

7. Communicate more. Mobile phones are great so use them. Send each other nice text messages, they can be loving or even of a sexual nature, but communicate more.

8. Leave letters around the house for each other, with just simple message of how much you love them.

9. Surprise each other. This can be anything from taking your partner out for a meal to going to the pictures or even waiting for them to come home and dragging them off to the bedroom. Do it on impulse, do not arrange it with your partner.


Sex is a very important aspect of married life. It should never be ignored or taken for granted. Sexual needs are real needs and they have to be satisfied. It is not wrong to admit to your partner that either one of you lacks passion in bed. By being open with your sexual needs, you are actually opening the possibility of making your marriage work again.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Lovers or Friends?

THE NON-RELATIONSHIP RELATIONSHIP
Friends with benefits. Sex buddies. Booty call. Loosely involved. We have lots of terms for the ever-trendy entanglement, some more printable than others. But what does it mean? We've all been there – the casual sex, the waiting by the phone. We say we're great with the exciting trysts and late-night phone calls – but are we? Or, are many of us biding our time for it to grow into something more?

So, why do singles enter into these relationships?

Usually loneliness or the desire to create something more than just friends, says Kate Billingsley (also known as Lady Fontaine), a love psychic, certified relationship expert, and life coach. These relationships appear safe on the surface and participants often feel that it is better than just sleeping around. Engaging in a friends-with-benefits arrangement allows for the physical gratification of a relationship without the commitment. These relationships offer what appears to be the best of both worlds where both partners lead their own lives and are not obligated to the other; which sounds enticing to some but every so often one of the partners secretly craves for more.

BOOTY CALLS DON'T WORK
Friends with benefits relationships usually don't work out for either party, Billingsley says. Women and some men have difficulty with physical intimacy without the emotional connection. This can set up one or both individuals for more than they initially bargained for. For women, this type of relationship is much harder to maintain because of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone and neurotransmitter, released during orgasm. It is the same hormone released in higher dose when a woman gives birth. So, for women to maintain a casual relationship when there is sex involved chemically works against the dynamics of her hormones and body.

HAVING HIS CAKE
Guys in friends with benefits situation have it just the way they want: Great sex, a friend to hang out with when they are bored, no commitment, no exclusivity.
"It has been my experience that once you have been a friend with benefits, you will not get out of that role," says Irina Firstein, LCSW, a relationship expert based in New York City. If you want to be The One, do not get into a loose friendship/sexual relationship, as he will never see you the way you want him to. "I don't care what anyone says, men appreciate the chase, they want a bit of a challenge (if they are really into you) and once you are casual in sexual matters, and just give it away they will not see you as special; this is where you will remain. It is impossible to change your status," Firstein says.

If you are already in a friends with benefits situation, you will never get to that next step, cautions Berit Brogaard Associate Professor of Philosophy and Psychology at University of Missouri at St. Louis. The chances are absolutely minute. Guys in a friends with benefits situation have it just the way they want it: Great sex, a friend to hang out with when they are bored, no commitment, no exclusivity.

SHOW HIM A WAY
To increase the chances of getting to that next step you need to make yourself somewhat unavailable (for sex and friendship-on-his-terms). Your guy then gets a chance to miss you. Guys confuse longing with love. So, if your guy gets a chance to miss you, he may start to have real feelings for you and not just sexual desire.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Are Americans more loving?

Love can rivet our attention to a single mate, instigate the process of romantic flirtation, lead to systematic patterns of courtship behavior, and on occasion culminate in marriage. Love helps parents bond in healthy ways with newborn offspring, leads to informative adolescent infatuations before more serious romantic pursuits, and serves as a social glue for functional interchanges of support amongst family and friends.

But even if love is universal, there are some very interesting cultural distinctions that emerge in the study. Here are a few outcomes/insights derived from the answers of 15,234 participants from 48 nations:

Nationality affects emotional investment, an indicator of love. As measured by an Emotional Investment Scale, countries in which people scored highest are the United States, Slovenia, and Cyprus. Low-scoring nations were Tanzania, Hong Kong, and Japan.

Focusing on men alone, the countries with the most emotionally invested males are the United States, Brazil, Portugal, Argentina, Philippines, and Greece.

The countries with the most emotionally invested women are Slovenia, the United States, Malta, Cyprus, Australia, and Argentina.

In almost every country, women reported higher levels of emotional investment than did men. But there are a few notable exceptions: In Bolivia, men and women were identical in their average levels of Emotional Investment, and Malaysia, men scored higher than women (though not significantly so). The researchers suggest there is something restricting women’s reporting of their romantic investment in these two cultures.

Oddly, sex differences in emotional Investment were larger in nations with high gender equality (e.g., Switzerland, Australia, and Germany) and were smaller in nations with low gender equality (e.g., Turkey, South Korea, and Bolivia). The researchers claim: “What appears to be happening is that greater gender equality is associated with higher Emotional Investment among both men and women, but the accentuating effects of gender equality on Emotional Investment are greater among women, leading to larger levels of the naturally-occurring sex difference in Emotional Investment.”

Stress reduces emotional investment. In cultures with high stress (e.g., Bolivia, Indonesia, and Malaysia), levels of Emotional Investment were significantly lower, especially among women. High national levels of stress (Infant Mortality rates, Childhood Malnutrition rates, and the Pathogen Stress experienced in local environments) —were also linked to lower levels of Emotional Investment. This is predicted by evolutionary theory: harsh conditions lead people to develop insecure attachment levels that result in lower emotional investment.

Emotional investment doesn’t lead to higher fertility rates.To the contrary: countries with lower emotional investment levels among women were related to higher fertility levels.

Countries scoring high in emotional investment don’t have stronger marriages. To the contrary: national levels of emotional investment were positively correlated with divorce rate, unrestricted sociosexuality, short-term mating interests, and the tendency to engage in short-term mate poaching (i.e., stealing someone else’s partner for a short-term sexual affair)

Emotional investment is linked with commitment, but there are nationwide exceptions. Individuals from North America who reported more unrestricted sociosexuality reported lower levels of emotional investment. Similar results were observed within the world regions of South America, Eastern Europe, and Oceania. However, unrestricted sociosexual individuals from South/Southeast Asia and East Asia reported higher levels of emotional investment. Moreover, individuals from Africa who were interested in short-term mating reported significantly higher levels of emotional investment.

Emotional investment peaks when dating one person. It’s somewhat lower among those who are living with someone, married, or currently single (in that order); and is significantly lower than that among those who have never had sex.

Schmitt admits that people from different cultures may express emotional investment differently (have different response biases) and in ways hard to quantify on a standardized scale. Moreover, the questions were written in English and translated into the native languages of the participants. Could this possibly bias the U.S. results — or are Americans really more loving?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Sexual Harassment At Work

What is sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination.The legal definition of sexual harassment is “unwelcome verbal, visual, or physical conduct of a sexual nature that is severe or pervasive and affects working conditions or creates a hostile work environment.”

Unwelcome

Conduct is not sexual harassment if it is welcome.For this reason, it is important to communicate to the harasser that the conduct makes you uncomfortable and that you want it to stop.


Conduct Of A Sexual Nature

Many different kinds of conduct—verbal, visual or physical—that is of a sexual nature may be sexual harassment, if the behavior is unwelcome and if it is severe or pervasive. Here are some more examples:

Verbal or written: Comments about clothing, personal behavior, or a person’s body; sexual or sex-based jokes; requesting sexual favors or repeatedly asking a person out; sexual innuendoes; telling rumors about a person’s personal or sexual life; threatening a person

Physical: Assault; impeding or blocking movement; inappropriate touching of a person or a person’s clothing; kissing, hugging, patting, stroking.

Nonverbal: Looking up and down a person’s body; derogatory gestures or facial expressions of a sexual nature; following a person.

Visual: Posters, drawings, pictures, screensavers or emails of a sexual nature.

** Non-sexual conduct may also be sexual harassment if you are harassed because you are female, rather than male, or because you are male, rather than female.For example, it may be sexual harassment if you are a woman working as a carpenter on an all-male job, and you are the only one whose tools are frequently hidden by your male co-workers.

Severe or Pervasive

The conduct of the harasser must either be severe or it must be pervasive to be sexual harassment. A single incident is probably not sexual harassment unless it is severe. For example, a single incident of rape or attempted rape would probably be sexual harassment.

Although a single unwanted request for a date or one sexually suggestive comment might offend you and/or be inappropriate, it may not be sexual harassment. However, a number of relatively minor separate incidents may add up to sexual harassment if the incidents affect your work environment. Some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether the conduct is pervasive are: How many times did the incidents occur? How long has the harassment been going on? How many other people were also sexually harassed?

Affects Working Conditions or Creates a Hostile Work Environment

If you are fired, refused a promotion, demoted, given a poor performance evaluation, or reassigned to a less desirable position because you reject a sexual advance, that almost certainly is sexual harassment. Even if the conduct does not result in economic injury or change of status to your job, it may be sexual harassment if the conduct unreasonably interferes with your work performance or creates an “intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.” For example, it may be illegal sexual harassment if repeated sexual comments make you so uncomfortable at work that your performance suffers or if you decline professional opportunities because it will put you in contact with the harasser.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Sex Toy Robber was Fined

A man who followed a stranger into a hotel room and assaulted him before stealing a bag of sex toys has been fined $1100.

Andrew William Shade pleaded guilty in Darwin Magistrates Court yesterday to assault, threatening behaviour in public and stealing.

Prosecutor Simon Lee said Shade, who was 22 at the time, spoke to the male victim about "getting chicks" in the foyer of the Value Inn on Mitchell St in March, 2003, before following him up to his room and forcing his way in.

Mr Lee said Shade pushed the victim and stood in the way of him escaping until the victim jumped out the window, breaking his heel.

Shade took a bag of sex toys from the room, as well as the victim's wallet. Mr Lee said the wallet was recovered, but not the bag of toys or the cash inside the wallet.

Shade's lawyer Colin Baker said Shade could not remember much of the incident, or what it was about.

Shade had been on a fishing boat for three months and arrived in Darwin earlier on the day of the incident - he had been drinking heavily and had also taken drugs.

Mr Baker said Shade handed himself in to a security officer at the hotel, who called the police, and waited to be arrested.

But after he was released on bail, Shade fled to Queensland where he did a drug rehabilitation program.

Police officers told him there was a warrant out for his arrest when he applied for a liquor permit on Groote Eylandt recently, and he handed himself into the court.

Magistrate Daynor Trigg said the circumstances of the offence were "unusual".

"One can only speculate as to what the reason for your offending was," he said. "Clearly the victim was in fear. He didn't know what you were after, he didn't know if you were there to assault him, for sexual assault or for dishonesty offences."

Mr Trigg said imprisonment was not warranted over the charges, and fined Shade $1100 across the three charges.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

How To Dress To Attract Men

First impressions are very significant as we often judge people instantly. Hence, it is all the more important that the first impression you give is a good one. Grooming yourself and dressing right will not only boost your confidence but also make you the centre of attraction. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

That is, if you think you are not attractive, you need not be disappointed. A few tips and a changeover are sure to capture attention and keep your man interested. Dressing attractively does not mean that you have to show your skin. It essentially means putting on clothes that suit your body type and enhance your personality. With the following tips, learn how you can dress up to attract men and bring yourself appealing to the eyes of the public especially men.

How To Dress To Attract Men
  • Dress to look modern and stylish and feel self confident. Most people believe that dressing up in red attract more men as compared to other clothing colors. Dress up in shades of red and see if it works for you. Select the color of your dress first along with the fits and fabrics.
  • Go to a different store for shopping clothes than your regular one. Try on clothes that look different from those that you usually wear. Be daring and take a risk as you may look beautiful in a style different from your normal one.
  • Dressing yourself does not simply mean of putting something expensive on your body to attract a man. It is more about confidence, attitude and the ability to carry a dress.
  • You can go in for a new hairstyle to modernize your style. A new hair color can also be wonderful, but be subtle with your color change so that your hair color looks natural and suits your skin tone.
  • You can also consider buying a new make-up such as a slightly lighter or darker shade of foundation, powder, lipstick or eye shadow. Many departmental stores have samples of cosmetics that you can try before purchasing so; why not give it a try.
  • Nicely shaped and polished nails attract men. Toenails look lovely painted in a dark shade of red, while for your fingernails, you can prefer a more natural look.
  • Simplicity attracts more men. You can choose to be simple rather than putting too much color to your face. Avoid too much make-up in case you are allergic to the face powder or other cosmetics else you’ll just be scratching all over your face and have a bad impression on your man.
  • Get a friend’s advice on how you can dress up well to attract men or anyone. A friend who is real would definitely help you with your personality.
  • Be yourself. You do not have to show off what men want to see in you. Simply show what you are without hesitating and you are sure to find someone who’ll like your personality. Real relationships have a strong foundation and help build strong future relationships.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

How to Make Yourself Sexually Appealing to Your Ex Lover

One of the main things that you must have if you want your ex to want you is that physical desire. In other words, your ex lover must still find you sexually appealing. This may sound superficial, but the truth is you must still be physically attractive to your ex lover if you want to raise the chances of them wanting you. So how do you make yourself sexually appealing to your ex lover?

First, you absolutely must dress in a way that emphasizes your good features. If you have a nice backside, wear pants that show it off! If your chest is very attractive, your shirt must emphasize this. If you have fabulous lips, make sure that they look soft, supple and kissable. If you have fabulous hair, make sure that it is neat and looks and smells great. You get the point here. Not only will you be more confident but your ex-lover and others will definitely take notice. Your attire should be casual, yet extremely sexy without showing off too much.

Next, you absolutely must smell great. If you still have a perfume or cologne that turned your ex on, be sure to wear it. Choose a sensual scent and do not overdo it. Give your ex a casual hug, and be sure to hug closely enough so that you leave some of your fabulous scent on him or her. Also, make sure that your ex can feel your body against his or her body, but leave it at that. Avoid hugging for too long, but do not make the hug too brief either. About 4-5 seconds should do.

When others are noticing you, notice them back, but just for a very brief moment. Your ex-lover must see that you have options and they must know that you are well aware of the fact that you have options. Notice your options, but still give your attention to your ex-lover. Your ex should not feel as if they are competing for your attention, but he or she must see that others definitely want your attention.

Finally, do not have sex with your ex. This will ruin everything. No matter how badly you may want to have sex, it is best to wait. Hold off as long as possible, especially if the breakup is recent. You want your ex to want to desire you sexually, but you definitely do not want to make it easy for them to have you sexually. Believe it or not, having sex too quickly will diminish their desire for you.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Tips to Add Zing Into the Relationship

Relationships could be best compared to a beautiful garden that requires loving care and attention for their growth. As the growth of weeds threaten to destroy the beauty of the garden, our negative actions and thoughts can bring about a storm in our safe heaven. Every relationship hits a rough patch and if you are in a long term relationship and want to mend the fences there are certain things which should be kept in mind:

Effective communication helps in bridging the gap. Lack of communication or miscommunication is one of the leading causes of failure of any relationship. A heart to heart communication between the partners helps in strengthening the bond between the couple and the lack of communication can turn any sweet relationship sour in no time.

It is said that partners have to be best friends first. Therefore it is important to remember that like you share all your ups and lows of your life with your best friend you should also share your deepest thoughts and darkest secrets with your partner if you want your relationship to last. So open up your heart to your partner and see your relationship flourish.

Modern working couples find it extremely difficult to find time for them and this leads to lack of communication. This causes a rift in their relationship and therefore it is essential to plan out a date night when two of you can be alone and can chat to your heart’s content without the distraction of work or children running around you. If you want to iron out differences from your life such date nights where you get a chance to interact with each other without any interruptions will be the best option.

When communicating with each other to save the relationship it is essential to discuss the things maturely and not enter into any kind of altercation. Communicating with a cool head will help you in finding the root cause of the problem and also decide on the right course of action that can help in bridging the gap.

If you are unable to come to a logical conclusion on your own and your conversation session turn into a blame game routine, you as a couple should seek the help of a counselor. An unbiased opinion of an expert could help you see the problem in your relationship in a clear light which will pave the way for taking corrective measures to save your relationship.

If despite your best efforts you are unable to reach an agreement then you need to understand that both of you are just not meant to be together. In such a scenario it is better to bring your relationship to an end without hurting each other anymore. So if you want to save your relationship then communication is the key to success.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Intimacy, Love & Desire

What is intimacy? I think it's a special feeling of closeness where we can be ourselves with each other. When we can be completely free to say whatever we want -- no matter how personal or sensitive -- then there is intimacy.

What is chemistry? I think chemistry occurs when people feel a certain cosmic, spiritual, soulful, or sexual synchronicity. This is when we feel we understand someone; we can relate to them without them having to explain themselves. It is when we know what someone is going to say, before they say it, or know what someone is going to do, before they do it.

What is love? I believe love to be the foundation of eternal trust and unconditional acceptance. When we fear not the other person's actions, truly acknowledge all their choices, and totally be with them, then there is love.

What is desire? Desire is a "calling" that we feel, a powerful and compelling attraction, or the feeling of a destiny yet to be fulfilled. Desire is the ignition of passion.

What is connection? That's our spirit at work -- causing a spark, an electric current, or a vibration. It's that link which fuels our energy and drives us to do the things we wouldn't otherwise do.

What is life? It is a journey to discover, explore, and experience miracles like these.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Love & Money

One of the topics that frequently comes up in couples' therapy is conflicts concerning money.

This is usually even more of an issue right before the holidays, when couples may be deciding whether to create large credit card balances from holiday shopping sprees.

Early in a relationship, couples will often unconsciously choose roles to play around money: one person is the spontaneous child & the other is a critical parent.

In this situation, there is typically no firm budget set, and the "child" part of the couple either spends much more than the "parent" wants, or the "child" part whines & begs constantly that they need more money to buy something.

The "parent" part of the couple wants to please his or her partner, and reluctantly gives permission for the purchase, even though they may resent it.

This pattern is dangerous to the long-term health of the relationship because it is a guaranteed set-up for more anger, resentment, and distance in the future. Both people quickly tire of their roles.

The "child" person hates to have to ask, and the "parent" person hates to say no. Often each is unconsciously acting out emotional issues from their families of origins & re-creating a dysfunction outcome in the relationship.

If you notice that you & your partner are displaying this pattern in dealing with money, try the following suggestions which have been shown to be very helpful for couples:

Make a budget together, including allowances for gifts, going out & other fun activities. You may need to track all expenses for a month or two to do this accurately;

Create a system whereby it is the budget which gives 'permission' for purchases, automatically & mechanically, without impulsivity or emotion playing a role;

Review the budget monthly to see how it is working for both of you. By consciously choosing to deal with money in an adult, rational manner, you both avoid the parent/child roles.

This also frees up space emotionally to look at why you unconsciously adopted those roles early in your relationship, and what gratification or payoff those roles were giving you.

People often think of financial planning, but as a couple you are also wise to think of emotional planning as well.

Anything which consistently generates resentment, anger, and/or distance in your relationship will inevitably lead to major problems in the future. If you have emotional issues to resolve, learn how to do it directly instead of playing them out through money.